okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
