Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
