I think i peed on brittanys purse
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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