i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Randomize
