Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
its liver damage thursday
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
