well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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