don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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