So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
