ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
