So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
