Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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