Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
