so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
