I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
