the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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