There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Randomize
