Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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