It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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