do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
