pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
