i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
My life is pants optional.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
