how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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