I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize