There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
