One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
So vagazzling was a success
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
