and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
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