I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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