Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize