Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
