i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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