Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
