This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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