Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
