i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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