I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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