I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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