At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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