My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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