If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
