I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
