ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
false alarm. still invincible.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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