I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
