The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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