I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize