Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I think a kid would responsible me up
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
