I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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