Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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