I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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