Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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