I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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