And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize