I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
