This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
