So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
