she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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