I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
