There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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