p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
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