Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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