there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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