Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize