You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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