I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
