Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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