He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
