i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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