PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
