either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
