Come see our sink grown plant.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Im part way to drunk.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
