I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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