you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
