her vagina looked like bernie madoff
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
